I've Never

I've never been to Nebraska.
I've never built a bomb.
I've never swam the Atlantic
or drank a rabbit's blood.
There's a lot I haven't done.
I've never jumped off a roof.
I've never kissed a pig
or slept with Winnie the Pooh
or learned the Watusi.
I've never worn a fez or taj
or wrapped myself in silk.
I've never bathed a camel
or eaten a poison mushroom.
I've never met Willie Nelson
or felt the urge to tango.
I've never liked pea soup.
I've never been to Iraq
or walked along the equator.
I've never run off with the circus
or camped in the Petrified Forest.
I've never joined the ACLU,
nor have I ever needed a shiv.
I've never been to a powwow
or seen 'possums having sex.
I've never visited New Jersey
or written a poem that ends with Z.

Really, I haven't.